Just a thought.

Maybe I've got it backwards.I can't sleep, so here we go.

I'm starting to think maybe I worry too much. I'm not going to give up on my mission - to move you, to shake you, and to boldly go where no drop-out film maker wanna-be has gone before. But on the other hand, it can't be all I think about.

Filming has been going poorly. We got one solid day out, and the core crew (or brain-trust, as I've been calling them, much to their dismay) have been doing fantastic. Mena and Dave are settling into their roles nicely, and Adam has been invaluable as our producer/keep-Kenzie-doing-stuff-so-this-actually-gets-done-guy. Also, I can't go without mentioning Tim, our musician and final brain-trust member, who's late-night conversations are good for perspective. But many scheduling conflicts, and unfortunate circumstances are leading to many canceled shoot days.

Victims of circumstance.

I'm still optimistic though. And I guess that's the point of this entry. Stay optimistic, kids.

One day, the world is going to make sense. The gears will have all fallen into place, and everything will spin in accordance. One day I'll have that feeling I'm looking for and this whole struggle will dissolve. But until that happens, I just have to keep pushing forward.

I see people around me making changes. Mostly for the better. It's inspiring. Yo, anonymous dude I know - congrats! Now treat her right. Holla to the gal I know who's making it work after all! And big ups to the guy I know who got a promotion. You guys are living. It feels good, doesn't it?

Life isn't making a movie. Life isn't working at a coffee shop. It's the interactions that you have from doing these things.

I guess if I have any advice for myself when I come back to this page in a day or two, feeling down (yes, it happens that fast) it would be this: Stop worrying about moving people for a minute.

Stop caring so much, just for a while. Instead of forcing people to be "moved", why don't you just enjoy their company? Your struggle will still be there when you're done.

And who knows, maybe someone will move you.

-K

Pictures are test stills from the upcoming film, "Keep Pushing Forward". Look for it in the fall.